Will You Do the Fandango?
by don't-tell-me-not-to-live
Summary: "Who changed the kick music?" *Day Four of the 'Inception' Oneshot Week* Rated T for language.


**Day Four of the 'Inception' Oneshot Week has arrived! *happy dance* Only three days till I post 'We'll Be a Dream' !**

**Thanks to everyone who has reviewed/faved the past three 'Inception' week oneshots, epecially 'Dark Red'. It means a lot, knowing that you guys like the stuff I write, even my angst! =}**

**And speaking of 'Dark Red', a lot of you asked me to write a more upbeat fic for today, so here it is (I was going to write a more upbeat fic anyway- two angsts in a row is hard to do, plus it's depressing!)! **

**So here's Day Four- it's not exactly an Arthur/Ariadne fic (for once), but there's a whole lotta Eames! Hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inception, nor do I own 'Bohemian Rhapsody'...sadly.**

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****Will You Do the Fandango?**

The extraction was completed earlier than they expected. They had effortlessly escaped the mark's projections and were now hiding in a back alleyway, waiting to wake up. Cobb was flipping through the manila folder in his hand, and the rest of the team was just milling around when they heard the opening bars of a familiar (yet unfamiliar) tune.

_Is this the real life?  
Is this just fantasy?  
Caught in a landslide,  
No escape from reality…_

Arthur turned towards his team. "Who the _fuck_ switched the kick music?"

But his eyes, as well as Ariadne's, Cobb's, and Yusuf's, were already locked on Eames, who only shrugged his shoulders in acknowledgement. "What? It was time for a change. We've been listening to that blasted French song for the past two years. It was getting quite old, really."

"So what if we've listened to it for two years? 'Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien' is a classic!"

"But, darling, only you and Ariadne could understand the bloody lyrics. And 'Bohemian Rhapsody' is just as much of a classic as your Edine Pilaf song."

"It's _Edith_ _Piaf_, you motherfucker!" the point man exclaimed. "And she's a goddamn _legend_!"

"So is Queen!" the forger replied.

"Getting high and sleeping with groupies does not make them legends, Eames."

"Yeah, but their _British_, love. That makes them bloody brilliant."

_Mama, ooh,  
Didn't mean to make you cry.  
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow,  
Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters…_

Ariadne couldn't help but roll her eyes as her two colleagues continued to argue. Honestly, what the kick music was isn't important. As long as it kept them out of limbo, the song could be fucking Hannah Montana, for all she cared.

"Queen had eighteen number-one albums, Arthur!"

"Edith Piaf had more than forty hit songs, Eames!"

_I see a little silhouetto of a man.  
Scaramouch, Scaramouch, will you do the Fandango?  
Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very, frightening me! _

Yusuf had no idea why they were arguing. Who was Queen? Edith Piaf? He'd never heard of them before. If it was up to _him_, the kick music would be by Mombasa's own Zuhura Swaleh. Now _he_ was a true legend.

_So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye?  
So you think you can love me and leave me to die?_

_Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby!  
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here!_

Cobb rubbed his forehead in exasperation, trying to hold back a groan. Leave it to Eames and Arthur to get into a fight over something as petty as the kick music. They could argue about anything, really. "Would both of you just shut up? Honestly…"

Arthur and Eames both whipped around to face him. "But he changed the-" "But he called me a-"

"Enough. Arthur, calm down- it's just a damn song." The point man looked sullen, but ceased his argument, nevertheless. Cobb then turned to the forger, who was grinning smugly.

"Eames, change the song back when we wake up."

The Brit's face fell. "_What?_ But Cobb-"

"No buts," The extractor interrupted. "We've used 'Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien' for too long. Changing it suddenly will just throw us off. We're keeping the song."

"But-"

"_Eames…_" Cobb warned.

Eames let out a sigh of defeat. "Fine…"

Satisfied that he had put an end to the fight, Cobb looked at his watch. Ten seconds till the kick. Thank God. He _really_ needed an aspirin…

_Any way the wind blows..._

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**Haha, this was so much fun to write! And I hope you guys aren't too mad at me for not making it an Arthur/Ariadne fic. I PROMISE that tomorrow's oneshot will be, though. Scout's honor! =}**

**Reviews make me a happy camper!**


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